You can't control the situation, but you can control your reaction.

Working onboard ships often requires physical and mental effort to do unique tasks. However, accomplishing something doesn't equal smooth operation; sometimes, seafarers from different backgrounds and cultures tend to have asynchronous work, which leads to fatigue. 

Because of this, a seemingly minor miscommunication can escalate into a harmful conflict. Sometimes, both sides act like nothing has happened, and indifference becomes the norm. 

It means wounds still don't heal! Discover the story of a deck rating who broke the pattern of unhealthy behavior onboard an international bulk carrier. Learn how he applied the best three reasons why he chose to forgive.

On a humid night, M/V Heraldic arrived at a port in Nanjing, China. As the vessel was about to be unloaded with barley, gigantic cranes moved slowly on the quay. 

Geoff was a deck boy onboard and was eager to get to work when the ship docked after two months at sea from Europe. 

Along with four deck ratings, he was tasked with cleaning and air-blowing cargo hold entrances so that washing the cargo holds would be much easier in the next few days. He had already worked for nearly five hours and was exhausted. 

In his position, he had to wear many hats. He was grateful, however, to have it so that he could learn and apply what was expected of him when promoted.

Geoff desperately tried to catch his breath when another AB asked him to help. He paused and looked for bottled water to quench his thirst, hoping it would give him the energy he needed. 

Suddenly, the AB started yelling at him, accusing him of being lazy and refusing to work. The sudden outburst took Geoff aback, and he attempted to explain that he simply needed a break because he was exhausted. 

But the AB continued berating him and even went so far as to accuse him of being disliked by everyone. In a desperate attempt to diffuse the situation, Geoff apologized for any misunderstanding and begged for peace and forgiveness. 

However, the AB turned a deaf ear and continued spurring his anger. Geoff stopped for a while and decided to let him calm down. 

Although the incident between them was not resolved, Geoff had three reasons to consider forgiving the person involved.

1. Forgive them, for they do not know what they do.

Like Jesus, who was scourged, beaten, and flogged before being crucified at Calvary. "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing," he said, looking up at the sky (Luke 23:34). 

Whatever your religious inclination, it's beneficial to emulate what Jesus did. He understood that those who had hurt him did not know the truth.

Geoff applied that principle to his own life. He understood the weight of the situation he was in. He then realized that the person he interacted with may have lacked awareness and didn't know the whole story. 

He believed the AB would have said differently and could have taken a more peaceful approach to their exchange if he had asked how he felt beforehand. It was a missed opportunity for both parties, and it could have prevented a petty fight. 

But let this be a reminder to forgive and show kindness and gentleness to everyone, even those deprived of the truth.

2. Forgiveness creates peace.

Geoff faced a tough challenge when he had to work with someone with whom he had issues for the remaining months of his contract. But he didn't let it dampen his spirits. 

Instead, he chose to focus on the positive aspects of the situation and look for the silver lining. 

He knew the best way to keep his sanity was to keep his emotions in check and not take things personally.

Geoff realized he needed to be more understanding and compassionate toward his coworker. He assisted him in filling up his rest hours and provided the computer assistance he needed even when he was not at work. 

He was indeed the go-to person. It was not easy to do these things for someone who had offended him, but Geoff knew that by doing good deeds consistently, he could transform a cold heart into a big heart.

3. Forgiveness restores relationships.

"You can't control the situation, but you can control your reaction." That may sound cliche, but Geoff applied that principle to the AB, who was also a good friend onboard.

He believed he could decide on something that would benefit both of them. He understood that the AB's wrongdoing did not define his entire personality. 

Even if no one is perfect, there is always something good in everyone. As a result, he always greeted him with a genuine smile. 

When Geoff completed his contract and disembarked from the ship, the AB gave him some wrapped food products that he could take home with him as a gesture of kindness. 

This experience shows us that showing kindness and forgiveness can create a better workplace environment.

Conclusion

Geoff's experience teaches us that working onboard ships can be challenging, and conflicts can arise due to miscommunication. 

However, forgiveness and kindness can break the pattern of unhealthy behavior and create a better workplace environment. 

By being kind, gentle, compassionate, and forgiving, we can build better relationships and improve ourselves, too. 

Let us all strive to be more forgiving and understanding towards our colleagues and see how it can change our lives for the better. 

Emulating Jesus' principle of forgiving those who do not know what they are doing, focusing on the positive aspects of the situation, and rebuilding shattered relationships can help us transform a cold heart into a big one. 

By choosing forgiveness and kindness in our daily interactions with others, we can create a more positive and harmonious work environment, as Geoff did.

Disclaimer

The views, opinions, and perspectives presented in Better Seafarer's Better Mindset articles are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent Better Seafarer, its affiliates, or the maritime industry. This content is for general informational purposes and should not be relied upon as professional advice or psychological guidance. Readers should consult qualified professionals for personalized advice.

All names, characters, and specific details have been altered or fictionalized to protect individuals' privacy. Any similarities to real persons, living or deceased, are coincidental. Better Seafarer and the author disclaim liability for any actions taken based on this information.